If you like Lift Big Eat Big you're a moron.

It seems like everyone with half a brain hates the guys at LBEB. I didn't know why, until I saw their website where they accidentally revealed they are giant assholes.

What kind of moron eats grass?

They seem to be under the impression that the knowledge they have is groundbreaking in some way; as if they reinvented the wheel. They then parade the wheel around and some people are dazzled by this fantastic new device. Specifically the pretty lights. All whilst bewildered onlookers wonder why the fuck a wheel has lights at all.

I took a look at some of their programs and this one really caught my eye: https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B0DL9J4Bi6RlckNOVVczUks3dXc/edit

I couldn't help but wonder who the fuck designed this shit and what they squat. It says it's a beginner program, so why would they have them max out on the first day? And why in the world is it only 4 weeks?? Assuming that by beginner, they mean some random idiot straight off the streets, the kind of guy to describe himself as a "hardgainer"

This kind of guy shouldn't be squatting to a max because he has no frame of reference for what a max should be. It would almost certainly be way too light or way too heavy, quarter squatted with a good morning on the way up just for added spice.

Here's a hard and fast rule, when people first start lifting they are invariably stupid about it. They have no bodily awareness. A subtle unlocking of the knees feels the same as ass to grass squats as long as there's weight on the bar.

Why do they need to make it sound like a holy war?

Every asshole with a domain name seems to have a mentality of "Us vs. them! We must cleanse them from the face of the earth in the name of Allah/Yahweh/skwatz"

And let me tell you, it's bullshit. When I see a curl bro in the gym I just remind myself he hates himself just as much as I hate me, and we already have a common ground. I simply have to offer him a treat such as a protein shake and we're bosom buddies.

But in all seriousness, why the fuck is it so trendy to declare war on concepts, diseases, or even actions like curling in a squat rack. I highly recommend you be an asshole to anyone who curls in squat racks, but once you bring the word "heretic," "holy," and "abomination" into it you have become a fucking moron.

This Jihad they have declared is made even worse by the constant use of the phrase "pure lifts" used here: http://www.liftbigeatbig.com/2013/01/powerlifting-misconceptions.html

Thank Allah/the Lord/whole milk their blood isn't sullied by the blood/fibers of Jews/niggers/squat suits.

What I'm trying to say is that they are basically white supremacists.

They are bad, evil people who are attempting to destroy anything that's good in the world of powerlifting by segregating everything into the "pure" and "impure" categories.  We can only hope they are confined to their compound and are walled in by the cops and then get sent to jail for the rest of their lives.

(I am required to say this is satire. Marshall, removing that picture was the hardest thing I've ever done. Hope you're happy...)

70s Big is a train wreck

I've been following 70s Big for a long time now and was an avid reader, but this shit is getting out of hand and is just too gay for my tastes.

Pictured here, several 70s Big men. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy

When I read the shit that Justin write now it feels like it was written by a 15 year old who stumbled on crossfit, then became stricken by a case of diarrhea of the mouth and is now unable to mask his innate gayness. I'm fucking looking at the 70s Big home page right now

Who exactly is this supposed to appeal to?

70s Big cannot possibly be more off topic. It somehow went from be huge and awesome, to being jacked 'n healthy. No one gives a fuck about their health and you shouldn't run a site called 70s Big if you aren't 70s Big.

That would be like me creating a website called "bigdickguywantsbigdickinasshole.biz" when in reality my dick is tiny. It's disgraceful.

The entire thing seems like a fetish now; they feel the need to mention what clothes they were wearing independent of whether it was at all notable, as if they want to be curteous and help us imagine their lifting better so we can cum all over our mom's computer. Not fucking likely.

Too much fucking fashion advice. Yeah, thanks 70s Big, I now know to shave my pubes when I wear short shorts near children. I'll try to be more considerate.

Maybe if Justin would stop declaring war on concepts and diseases he would have time to get his head out of his ass and start posting things that actually fucking matter and are related to getting 70s Big. Not cock and ball torture videos.

I don't care if you guys enjoy this, but it's from the devil. If you think a friend might be touching himself to the thought of Justin Lascek hitting his dick with a barbell, talk to your pastor.

I hope Justin reads this and I hope he reconsiders intentionally making his site shitty as some sort of sick joke. But for now, we can only hope for more pictures of everyone's favorite internet gigolo.

You are a whore and I am using you as an object.

Justin seems like the kind of guy who would seem like a good guy at first, but then it turns out that he takes pictures of people taking shits in his gym, but it's also a really good gym and he gives you pictures so it's okay but you still feel fucking dirty.

Suicide.

I think about suicide a lot. Personally, I'm a fan. It's the great equalizer. Everyone from the lowliest begger, to the highest of kings will have shit in his pants and a hangman's erection when he kicks the stool. Once you pull the trigger all your brains you were so prideful of are all over the fucking wall now, and the retard you knew in school is just as smart as you.

More people should consider it. I always see people in the grocery store that are morbidly obese. There's no way they're going to lose the weight, trying is just too fucking hard for them; otherwise they'd be 300 pounds lighter.

Your entire life you're holding your finger, plugging the leak in the dam. Only a select few are brave enough to take their finger out. I dream of getting brave. Brave people don't deal with bullshit like taxes or cats. They call no man mister.

People who commit suicide are emancipating themselves from bullshit and I commend them for it. I highly recommend suicide for everyone.

But for the time I'm not brave, I put up shitty numbers in powerlifting, a relatively obscure sport that no one gives a shit about. I'll be bitching on this blog unless I forget I have this blog. If it sucks I'll just give up all together. Maybe I can fucking end it.