If you like Lift Big Eat Big you're a moron.

It seems like everyone with half a brain hates the guys at LBEB. I didn't know why, until I saw their website where they accidentally revealed they are giant assholes.

What kind of moron eats grass?

They seem to be under the impression that the knowledge they have is groundbreaking in some way; as if they reinvented the wheel. They then parade the wheel around and some people are dazzled by this fantastic new device. Specifically the pretty lights. All whilst bewildered onlookers wonder why the fuck a wheel has lights at all.

I took a look at some of their programs and this one really caught my eye: https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B0DL9J4Bi6RlckNOVVczUks3dXc/edit

I couldn't help but wonder who the fuck designed this shit and what they squat. It says it's a beginner program, so why would they have them max out on the first day? And why in the world is it only 4 weeks?? Assuming that by beginner, they mean some random idiot straight off the streets, the kind of guy to describe himself as a "hardgainer"

This kind of guy shouldn't be squatting to a max because he has no frame of reference for what a max should be. It would almost certainly be way too light or way too heavy, quarter squatted with a good morning on the way up just for added spice.

Here's a hard and fast rule, when people first start lifting they are invariably stupid about it. They have no bodily awareness. A subtle unlocking of the knees feels the same as ass to grass squats as long as there's weight on the bar.

Why do they need to make it sound like a holy war?

Every asshole with a domain name seems to have a mentality of "Us vs. them! We must cleanse them from the face of the earth in the name of Allah/Yahweh/skwatz"

And let me tell you, it's bullshit. When I see a curl bro in the gym I just remind myself he hates himself just as much as I hate me, and we already have a common ground. I simply have to offer him a treat such as a protein shake and we're bosom buddies.

But in all seriousness, why the fuck is it so trendy to declare war on concepts, diseases, or even actions like curling in a squat rack. I highly recommend you be an asshole to anyone who curls in squat racks, but once you bring the word "heretic," "holy," and "abomination" into it you have become a fucking moron.

This Jihad they have declared is made even worse by the constant use of the phrase "pure lifts" used here: http://www.liftbigeatbig.com/2013/01/powerlifting-misconceptions.html

Thank Allah/the Lord/whole milk their blood isn't sullied by the blood/fibers of Jews/niggers/squat suits.

What I'm trying to say is that they are basically white supremacists.

They are bad, evil people who are attempting to destroy anything that's good in the world of powerlifting by segregating everything into the "pure" and "impure" categories.  We can only hope they are confined to their compound and are walled in by the cops and then get sent to jail for the rest of their lives.

(I am required to say this is satire. Marshall, removing that picture was the hardest thing I've ever done. Hope you're happy...)