All Hail the King

Alright you dudes(The three readers), it's time I introduced you to the greatest guy who ever fucking lived. Genghis Khan.

This fat bastard is the one who brought Asian and Europe to their knees.

Genghis Khan is the greatest American and human being to ever walk the earth. He kicked ass, fucked ass, then owned some ass because Lincoln wasn't looking. He fucking had it all.

I have not been to school in a while, but if my PHD in molecular biology is worth the wood it's painted on, then I should know this.

Genghis started out in Mongolia, living in New York. He eventually united the Sharks and the Jets by killing that bitch that made them hate each other, then bought both gangs making them his starters' horde, comprised of only 32 thugs, 2 horses and a donkey affectionately referred to as Poncho.

Eventually, Genghis decided that he need about a million guys if he was going to do jack shit, but first he would have to prove himself in the weightroom. By deciphering ancient Mongolian poems written by his grandson, Kublai Khan, I found a general idea of his programming.

Monday: Squat 700 lbs 1x10, 800 1x7, 900 1x5, 1000 1x1.

This went on every single day for every powerlift, except the bench, since it wouldn't be invented until 23 years later when Eugen Sandow came along. Historical evidence points to Genghis favoring the bent press

Proving his strength to the Mongolian dudes, he earned their respect. Except for the respect of some fucking dickhead who took a bite out of him then started rolling like an alligator. Eventually Genghis fucking killed him and fucking guess what, the dude had the deed to Mongolia on him.

So then every one in the room called him Khan because Mongolians are weird. Then at that moment, everyone of them decided to head in every direction for conquest, rape, and wholesale manslaughter.

Genghis Khan was basically king of rape. He fucked every broad with sight and could reportedly impregnate women by masturbating while thinking about them. He fucked so many women that a Y gene mutation is present in a large region of Asia, with about 8% of the total population having it. That's 0.5% of the world, counting just the men with the Y gene mutation.

To have all these fuckers running around just cause you fucked like a madman is crazy. Also, I'm like 90% sure I'm a direct descendant to Genghis Khan so in addition to being a fucking badass, that's another reason to have him on this blog.