Good things are happening.

Some news. Marshall offered to train with me after the whole "he's a Nazi" thing and I decided to take him up on the offer. The whole thing is still on the drawing board, but he might be coming out to the gym I lift in for a strongman meet and there may be some promotion of the gym, and the training together (still unclear how much, if any, there will be) will be documented for the benefit of both parties.

I'm not gonna write all day again about my take on LBEB, (same as Crossfit, they expose people to barbells and shit) but I think this is gonna be badass.

If this happens, I will post about the training and maybe Marshall will post about it on LBEB, I don't know. Still need to iron out the details but I do know I'll write about it.

The entire thing is also meant as a promotion for Hoffman's Barbell, an old fashioned strength factory run by Bryan Hoffman. Who so far has had me tell him what happened between me and Marshall about four times, and thinks is fucking hilarious.

Once again, this thing is just in the very early stages and it might not end up happening because Marshall might not be able to show up, or when he does, he'll just kill me. In the latter case, a brief funeral will be had after he leaves.

And now for actual content.

Just kidding.

Powerbuilding is the best building

I've had it up to here with people acting like you can't be strong and look good. As if there is some sort of rule against doing curls after you bench. I've noticed this attitude all over the place, but nowhere is it more commonplace than in places such as Starting Strength.

Curls? That's now what Uncle Rippy recommends

The SS community is okay, but with the flood of novices there is also a flood of morons who seems to be under the impression that since Rippetoe does not include any vanity lifts you are therefore a curlbro for doing them.

The truth is, Rip doesn't give a shit if you like to do hammer curls. In fact, he stated here that he started lifting to make him look like Conan the Barbarian.

Can you blame him?

Rippetoe has never spoken against vanity lifting because it doesn't matter. Your squat will not be affected by some dumbbell shrugs. You will look pretty badass with a huge pair of traps, so why not do them?

Going out of your way to look good from lifting is the same thing as going out of your way to put up big numbers in the powerlifts.

It really isn't that much harder to do some assistance to make you look jacked so there's no excuse besides the fact that you don't care how you look.

I'm not saying that you should eat only boiled chicken breast and become some sort of bodybuilder, I am saying that having a badass yoke from shrugging 600 is awesome. Having a fucking pair of glorious arms gets the layman's respect, not your mediocre squat. You can have both very easily, so why not get both?

Various people who are both awesome lifters and jacked as shit include:

Jamie Lewis. Shitton squatter. He is also author of the totes awesome blog Chaos & Pain,
Stan Efferding. Squats 905 with just wraps
Ronnie Coleman. Everyone wants to be a bodybuilder, but no one wants to lift no heavyass weight!
Kirk "The Jerk" Karloski He wants to hold it!

These guys lift a metric shitton of weight and still look jacked, but some vanity lifting is just too fucking much for you because Mike Rippletoe didn't put them in the program. Get real, brah.

Even worse is the SS community's insistence on not doing assistance in general. Many moons ago, I recall making a thread on how to not get a "poopy" deadlift. The vast majority of people claimed I should switch to deadlifting every other week. Only one poster was for adding assistance work.

This is a strange, ancient, and undeniably evil cult that is attempting to make you weaker, but that's for another time because I've been awake for about two days now.

I love steroids

Steroids rock. They should be allowed in all competitions, especially the Olympics. Everyone is using steroids, why not legitimize it? If you lose respect for someone just because they use them you're an idiot.

People seem to be under the assumption that steroids can make even the average moron able to bench press a car. I believe this to be wholly untrue. Even with PEDs the athlete still has to train harder than he has in his life to be the best. You must have the genetic potential, the work ethic, the talent and the willingness to do some steroids to be the best.

Just because I inject some more test into me doesn't mean I can suddenly deadlift more than Benedikt Magnusson. Even if I did do steroids and trained in a secret underground bunker for 2 years I would still be nowhere near his record simply because I'm a lazy idiot who can't be bothered to take training as seriously as he does.

The following is a list of people who definitely do/did steroids:

Benedikt Magnusson
Doyle Kenady
Kirk Karwoski
Ed Coan (Also a pothead, apparently)
Lamar Gant
Lance Armstrong
Louie Armstrong
Miles Davis
George Washington
Malcolm X
Richard Nixon
Ronnie Coleman
My uncle
Charles Manson
Marilyn Manson
Mark Rippetoe
Bill Starr
Doug Young
Me
Glenn Pendlay
Robert Downey Jr.
Peter Jackson
Dane Cook (More proof that steroids don't make you automatically good at something)
Sun Tzu
Even the Dalai Lama

I feel that it's obvious steroids have done more good than bad in the world. They help scrawny children get that much closer to a 135 bench press and without them we wouldn't have the strong guys we have to day and I thank god for everyday we get to enjoy steroids.

It's time people realize that steroids are not a big deal and to ban someone from competing because of them is a farce. Anyone in the top circuits of any sports will be using some kind of PED and if they don't get pinched because of it it just means they're too sneaky.

In the IPF and USAPL if you are even training with someone who has failed a drug test you will be banned. This doesn't mean they are dope free, it just means they're a bunch of sneaky bastards.

"But how can we spot these men who use steroids?" Why, I'm glad you asked. It's a pretty simple matter. Does he deadlift around 850? Does he weigh around the neighborhood of 320-360? Does he claim his gains are from eating big? Does he suffer from "Roid rage?" that causes him to make fun of bloggers constantly? I think we all know who I'm referring to here.

I'm looking at you, Kirk.

But seriously, society has to quit with this hatred for PEDs because it's stupid and only the people who are clumsy enough to get caught are criticized for it. Lance Armstrong would still be alive if it weren't for you people.

Here's lookin' at you, kid.

If you want to learn more about steroids, visit your local library, or read this really good 70s Big article. 70s Big.

The Real Deal

It's time you guys met the real me. Believe it or not, the you think I am from reading this is actually me. But you gotta admit I make a couple good points. We gotta make a rundown of both 70s Big and Lift Big Eat Big.

70s Big: An okay site with a decent community, but I think Justin spends a bit too much time not actually talking about getting 70s Big, and more of being jacked and healthy. They tend to take a lot of picture where they look like they're about to have a hot, sweaty orgy, but that's okay because they got some decent enough info and don't give a shit if you disagree.

Lift Big Eat Big: This is a doozy. I don't know where to start. After I edited some pictures to make them less than flattering, so Marshall responded by saying I hurt his feelings on his facebook:

 Then his circlejerking friends responded with a few zingers:

Bitch, choose one; keyboard commando or fuckstick?

This is the shit I'm talking about. That Blake Ashley idiot. If someone disagrees with the guys at LBEB they have to be the guys they hate. It cannot possibly be someone who just plain dislikes their bullshit, it must be the one thing they bitch all day about.

Tony thought his zinger was so good he had to show it off to Marshall

These idiots just fucking idolize the guys at LBEB to the point of being embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for them. When they defend someone at LBEB, they have to parade it around shouting for people to approve of them.

And when they insult someone who hates LBEB, they have to call them curlbros. Because that's what Marshall would do and I love Marshall. Fuck them.

Marshall is a fucking hoss, but I would be much more impressed if he wasn't in league with morons. It's hard to these assholes seriously when douches named "Pastor B" are the guys who are considered "experts"

Pastor B seems to hate curlbros and it shows. Never before have I been more unimpressed by someone.

He somehow manages to make worse progress than a Fittitor.

 In the above picture, note the Crossfit shirt. LBEB is composed almost entirely of Crossfitters who like to squat more. That's it. Same fucked up "family" attitude. Both run by ego-maniacal assholes. And neither of them can squat double body weight. A feat that even I am capable of.

I cannot help but be impressed with Marshall, but he has been bamboozled by this conman running his church. Bamboozled and stupified I say! Pastor B is simply repackaging well known knowledge and adding the ol' LBEB twist.

If you like Lift Big Eat Big, you're probably being screwed in the ass while paying for retarded shirts. All the while you're accusing someone who just doesn't give a shit about LBEB of being a curlbro. Which makes no fucking sense. There are a lot of sites that aren't full of shit, but this ain't one of them. I recommend Starting Strength.

It's run by Mark Rippetoe and he knows his shit. He doesn't have the attitude of a wannabe hardass. That's about all I can say about him.

LBEB sucks. It's obviously got some strong people, but Marshall needs to tell Pastor B to fuck off, get his ass into a powerlifting federation and start putting up some records.

I really hope that this will be the last I have to say about LBEB because I'm bored to tears of their bullshit, and their fanboys who don't even lift.

The rest of this blog will, hopefully, be about me and the stupid shit I do. I will most certainly do more posts similar to this one but this is probably the last I got for LBEB. Unlike the guys at LBEB, I powerlift and will be competing in the UPA Nationals this April. Hopefully I can avoid being doxxed until then. If any super slooths at LBEB want to dox be, I'd just like to say you'd be a moron if you're unable to do it.

Another site that's decent: Outlaw Powerlifting.
And for the O lifters: Pendlay's forums

Edit: Marshall White found my log on Starting Strength and decided to be a cocksucker for his Facebook circlejerk.

I'm going to come out and say it; I don't lift as much as Marshall. Any fucking man can say this shit. But I also don't give out advice. I just be a dick over the internet. Nothing wrong with that.

If there is something wrong, it's the fact that this asshole and his circlejerk keep proving my fucking point. I said it over and over, they cannot believe that someone could possibly not like the site LBEB without declaring a fucking war on the subject. I wrote this shit on the fucking wall but you guys seem to love to prove me right.

I'm squatting tomorrow. Video forthcoming. Notably, this will be more than Pastor B can squat

If you like Lift Big Eat Big you're a moron. Part II

There was shit aplenty to be said of LBEB and I felt this required a second part. Upon looking at the comments, most of them were incomprehensible and stupid, but this one caught my eye.

(Content removed because the guy requested it.)

 By the way, when you're done "helping" Timmy I recommend you delete any personal stuff.

So what does this offer of amnesty to rapists mean for LBEB? Nothing good. Even worse is that so far, this is the best they've had to offer. A rapist who doesn't even lift. Am I really supposed to believe the horseshit they spew when this is the best I've seen?

But the one of the main things I wanted to address is the fact that LBEB keeps trying to make retarded connections and make them badass. Leading example is this: Training Music.

Listen to the music you want to listen to. If it's rap, go crazy, if it's metal, awesome blossom. I don't even care if you listen to classical or perhaps some sort of sobbing into a clarinet. It doesn't matter as long as it gets you focused on the lifting.

The claim that since drums use beats, Spartans listened to drums, and therefore rap, which has the beat take the back seat of the bus, is the best to listen to.

That's like saying since Spartans were the first to formalize pederasty then you should fuck a choir boy in the ass before a heavy squat. Of course LBEB probably recommends this, since they apparently offer amnesty for rapists.

Once again, I recommend music that helps you focus on the lift. For me, that's stoner metal. I recommend Sleep, High on Fire, or Black Sabbath

The point is that LBEB seems to see connections that are frail or retarded at best, and this is stupid. They should get their shit together and get some perspective about their self-worth and realize their knowledge is not new.

New rule, if you're going to comment get your head out of your ass.