Hunting the Lilliebridges.

Editor's note: I found this in an old note book of mine. I could only understand the handwriting on a couple pages, and the rest were either torn out or covered in coffee stains. What I did understand fucking creeped me out.

While basking in the sun on my private island, watching Pemberton command my Samoan workers on the new deck, I realized something was missing. Hunting. I had never hunted before, but I had certainly felt bloodlust, as all men do. But I didn't want to hunt pigs, bears, or even heads. No, I was going to hunt the ultimate specimen. The Lilliebridges.

To hunt them, I'd first need them on the island. I knew this was going to be dangerous, but I had exaggerated just how dangerous. At the time I was working on the idea that they could crush cars with their bare hands, were between 7 and 9 feet tall, and were also highly radioactive from years in the powerlifting circuit. I realized the first was obviously bullshit, the second point was also bullshit, they are closer to 4.5 feet tall, and furthermore, they are only mildly radioactive, about as dangerous as 4086 bananas, or 403 sieverts.

After paying an associate a rather large lump sum, I had them shipped to my island. They were fine, but the amount of raw meat they consumed was enormous.

The night they were shipped, I let them loose on my island. As I lay in my silken sheets in my manor, sitting on the hill above the jungle below, I heard them howling. Slowly, a grin crawled across my face to tickle my ear lobes. I barely slept I was so excited.

When it was morning, I skipped breakfast, opting for a hunt instead. I had Pemberton pick out a manservant for the hunt, as well as several items of interest. I set out on foot to try and catch a trail. I found it quickly enough. I followed cautiously with Pemberton and the manservant following.

"I say, my good man, there is nothing quite like the hunt." I said. I breathed deep, relishing the Pacific air. Suddenly I heard something. A snap of a twig. A great, rusty breathing coming from just within the brush. I raised the rifle. Another breath. I fired. He charged like a rhino. I managed to dodge him just before he struck, but Pemberton wasn't as lucky. He rolled through him and kept on charging.

As I saw Ernie Sr. run away, I ran over to Pemberton, who had been disemboweled by Ernie's tusks. "Sir, it has been an honor serving with you." He said. Then he could no longer hold his intestines in and they fell out.

approximately 4 pages missing

Ernie Jr.'s eyes bulged as I tightened the garot around his neck. Suddenly his neck flexed, snapping the thin chord, sending it spinning into the Samoan manservant.

"Haw haw!" I shouted as I pulled the knife out of my boot and slashed wildly at him. It cut deep into his skin, and buckets of blood poured out onto me. I was nearly awash in it. I didn't think this was a problem, but then I started slipping. Not a problem because I had trained for wrestling in slippery places. i didn't account on his blood being flammable. I looked up in horror as he threw the zippo lighter down in the pool

"You son of a bitch!" I sho pages missing.

"I must admit, I wouldn't have hunted you and your family had I known you were capable of human thoughts," I said to the Lilliebridges.

"Just don't do it again." Eric said with a smile on his voice.

Editor's note: I still have no idea what the fuck I was thinking.

Group Think

There is nothing else in the world that has more potential to be badass then a big group of people all working towards the same goal. This applies to all things in life, especially getting fucking strong. If a weak dude just lifts in his basement, he has no one to call him a pussy. He can just fail his 275 pound squats and quit forever. If that happens in a good gym, everyone in the room will be calling him a weak bitch who has to get his shit together.

Notably, we have powerlifter Tom Norchez, from Israel (a fact he considers so important he answers only to it.) Formerly, a wannabe monk, joined a group of people who all wanted to get strong and then he got strong. Fucking strong

Tommy Norchez making shit look good

Although, we probably should not go off of Tim because, frankly, he's out of his fucking mind for lifting heavy shit. Although... I've seen a lot of his training videos, and notably he always has a bunch of dudes there to call him a pussy when he fails. The entire group has their minds all laser focused on one thing, to get strong. And when you're with a group like that, it rubs off on you. I would know. When i train at home, I feel like shit. And when I don't, I feel good. This is the way science is done.

But what is happening in these gyms is that a bunch of people all decided to do one thing at once. It's weird when it's something like Vandalism or gang rape, but it's entirely different when it comes to getting strong.

Another thing that can happen is that when a group of people all turn against one dude they hate. Due to the fact that I am entirely uneducated, a convicted felon, and barely literate, I have become employed at a fast food establishment known as McDonald's. You may have heard of it.

The point is that everyone on the crew is cool with each other, then this fucking jerk off named ram rod gets hired. In addition to being a cock, he also picked fights, stole food, threw away good food, burned several people with grease, and just generally ruined everything. With the team work of everyone involved, we managed to make him cry basically every shift. It turned into a game later on. I only regret not making him cry more.

The point is, if you have trouble training, find a group of people. Your lifts will go up 40% if there is someone there to call you a little bitch, plus benching is a lot easier.

Go to a black iron gym. They're fucking badass.

All Hail the King

Alright you dudes(The three readers), it's time I introduced you to the greatest guy who ever fucking lived. Genghis Khan.

This fat bastard is the one who brought Asian and Europe to their knees.

Genghis Khan is the greatest American and human being to ever walk the earth. He kicked ass, fucked ass, then owned some ass because Lincoln wasn't looking. He fucking had it all.

I have not been to school in a while, but if my PHD in molecular biology is worth the wood it's painted on, then I should know this.

Genghis started out in Mongolia, living in New York. He eventually united the Sharks and the Jets by killing that bitch that made them hate each other, then bought both gangs making them his starters' horde, comprised of only 32 thugs, 2 horses and a donkey affectionately referred to as Poncho.

Eventually, Genghis decided that he need about a million guys if he was going to do jack shit, but first he would have to prove himself in the weightroom. By deciphering ancient Mongolian poems written by his grandson, Kublai Khan, I found a general idea of his programming.

Monday: Squat 700 lbs 1x10, 800 1x7, 900 1x5, 1000 1x1.

This went on every single day for every powerlift, except the bench, since it wouldn't be invented until 23 years later when Eugen Sandow came along. Historical evidence points to Genghis favoring the bent press

Proving his strength to the Mongolian dudes, he earned their respect. Except for the respect of some fucking dickhead who took a bite out of him then started rolling like an alligator. Eventually Genghis fucking killed him and fucking guess what, the dude had the deed to Mongolia on him.

So then every one in the room called him Khan because Mongolians are weird. Then at that moment, everyone of them decided to head in every direction for conquest, rape, and wholesale manslaughter.

Genghis Khan was basically king of rape. He fucked every broad with sight and could reportedly impregnate women by masturbating while thinking about them. He fucked so many women that a Y gene mutation is present in a large region of Asia, with about 8% of the total population having it. That's 0.5% of the world, counting just the men with the Y gene mutation.

To have all these fuckers running around just cause you fucked like a madman is crazy. Also, I'm like 90% sure I'm a direct descendant to Genghis Khan so in addition to being a fucking badass, that's another reason to have him on this blog.

Screwing around

"A-are you Eric L-lilliebridge?" I said as I approached from the darkness

"I'm THE Lilliebridge." He replied, being polite enough to ignore my creepy demeanor and off putting smell."Now, who are you, my man?"

"I'm some douche on the internet." I said. He believed me. He stuck out his hand. My eyes widen. I wasn't prepared for this. My mind cannot comprehend this, this is definitely shaped like a hand, but it belongs to Eric Lilliebridge, and it's reaching toward mine. How is this possible? Didn't he notice my smell?

I stick my hand out, fingers twitching, and attempt to grip his hand. He wraps his fingers around mine, then brings his left hand in to finish the job in what can only be called the Kennedy hand cave.

Note the two hands tag teaming the other dude's

I stood there. Slowly, I wheezed out the words he was looking for. "Nice to meetcha!" I said. To my horror, small flecks of spit landed on him. He pauses, eyes closed. I feel a slight increase in the grip pressure. He releases my hand and I walk away as quickly as possible.

Upon closer examination, I realized he wiped a bunch of spray tan shit all over my hand. I assume this is the source of his great strength

In less impressive news, I blew fucking chunks at the meet, not PRing anything at all. In fact, on a better day I probably could have gotten these pretty easily.

But this wasn't a better day. I was still sick from Wednesday, and I weighed in at 187 while wearing jeans, sweatshirt and hiking boots. So my weight was more like around 178. I could have made the 181s pretty easily and I should have.

Got 474 on the squat, 220 on the bench, and 374 on the deadlift. Missed everything but my openers on the squat and bench, but then my handler changed the deadlift opener and I actually got my second attempt on it.

Since I'm too tall to be a decent 198, I'm going to pack on some pounds. Gonna go to at least the 220s. Maybe more. If I like being a big fatty maybe I'll just keep going, which will be cool to watch. Maybe take a selfie once a week and see how it goes.

Heading to Iowa tomorrow

Entered UPA nationals and going to Iowa tomorrow. Was feeling real good and pumped, but yesterday I woke up and started puking this yellow bile. Didn't eat anything for most of that day. Today I wake up and all I can think about is how fucking hungry I am.

To recover lost calories and shit I'm gonna be chugging a quart of my favorite brand of chocolate milk, eating some other shit, then heading out. Guaranteed to have taken 300 pounds off my total. I guess I'll never total more than 600...

But for realz, it's fairly likely I'll still do pretty good. Not best lifter good. More like best dude in my weight class, maybe setting a record or two because there aren't any other fucking records.

Will be competing on Sunday and will probably write some updates from the leisure of my hotel suite. These posts will be dictated but not read by me.

Reddit should be hurled into the sun.

For those of you who can afford to live under rocks, Reddit is the world's biggest content aggregation site at the moment. It touts itself as the "Front page of the internet" while providing a home for the good folks over in /r/ incest and /r/ picsofdeadkids. Yeah, this shit exists.

But that's for later. What I'm talking about right now is the stinky brown log that is /r/ fitness, floating in the toilet that is Reddit.

What amazes me is how they manage to turn something as normally indivualistic as "fitness" and turn it towards the Reddit hivemind, taking what is currently popular and telling everyone to do it. What currently is popular is Starting Strength with about 4 too many modifications that make no fucking sense.

I can answer these questions for ya. 1. It doesn't fucking matter. 2. No one cares about your weird cock. And 3. You can try giving a shit about lifting, that always helps.

And the questions they get there are just baffling. I wish gyms were more like an underground terrorist ring so these retards couldn't find them, and also I want to blow up the pentagon.

All except one are just asking for approval.

Stupid fucking questions like "Should I stop bashing on crossfit and try it out" are always there. The people there never actually do anything without asking for approval first. And the ones they choose to nitpick over are so fucking stupid. Yeah, sure, try Crossfit if you fucking want. It doesn't matter to me or anyone else on the internet except for people who like crossfit.

Look, Crossfit sucks but at least they introduce people to barbells. All /r/ fitness does is introduce people to the hivemind that god forbid someone do something without their approval. Fuck people like that because they're pussies who need other people to tell them what to do. It's nearly as bad as Crossfit in that respect.

Powerlifting is dead and I'm okay with that

Powerlifting is a dying sport. It had it's chance to be mainstream a long time ago and they blew it. Every powerlifter has an opinion on why the sport isn't more popular and here's mine: The fact that powerlifters are argumentative bitches, and the fact that it seems to be a sport for weirdos such as myself.

 The case for my claim of powerlifter being arguments is the constant agruments about what is and isn't raw. Most people will say that raw is just a belt, maybe knee sleeves, and nothing else. But wait, no one has defined that as raw until after powerlifting stopped mattering as a sport.

Other people such as me and the good people of the UPA and other like minded federations will say that raw is belt and knee wraps. This is how it was in the beginning and only for a brief period in the 70s was this considered gear back in the day. To think otherwise of this noble friendship of the belt, the wraps, and the squatter is to spit in the face of an entire era.

But the thing that pisses me off about this argument is the innate insistence on being retarded. How far back do these raw purists want to take this? Do they want to take away belts? They add about the same amount of weight as wraps. Why not take away shoes? Hell, even bars aren't really raw. How do you know it's really you lifting it? The bar is the one holding it. How far back do you really want to take it?

Ed Cone, shown here having the time of his life

Wraps make lifting more fun because you're lifting more weight. They help keep older lifters in the game and by extension help keep the sport alive. The insistence on redefining raw is what killed powerlifting in the first place. Those bastards that wanted wraps out of the game are murderers and I'm going to shout at them until my throat is bloody and raw.

Another point of confusion is the use of gear. In the years of yonder, everyone used gear. Nearly every powerlifter that mattered used gear, which, back then was shitty. Adding about as much weight as a pair of wraps would. Not much at all.

Some people seem to forget about this, or pave over the fact that Ed Cone, Kirk "The Jerk" Karloski, and even Doug Furnace and Connie Goldman used gear.

The point here is that all these guys set the best records and won the best pageants using gear that is no longer considered raw for reasons that are stupid. I can understand calling straight up geared lifting with squat suits and such not raw, but to say wraps aren't raw is absolutely retarded.

And what pisses me off more is when people vilify geared lifting in general. Yes, I get it they don't compete the way you do, they're pussies who don't lift weight. Maybe when you squat 405 I'll give a shit. No wait, I still won't.

I've actually talked with geared lifters and of all the souls I've come across in my journeys, their souls are the most... human...

With the advent of the hatred of geared lifting and the constant redefining of raw, powerlifting is dying and since everyone is too much of an argumentative bitch to do anything against this, it will not be saved.

RIP Powerlifting.

If Quitting Is So Easy, Just Do the Big Quit

The human race is the world's most successful group of pussies. I'm sick and tired of dealing with pussies who can't be bothered to have any sort of commitment to lifting. It makes me sick to have to deal with them.

I used to lift with a guy that was actually getting decently strong. He was closing in on a 2 plate bench and was in the mid 400s for the deadlift. He only did these two lifts, but he was doing them well.

He fucking quit because he got tired of having to drive to my house to lift in the basement. When you can't even be bothered to show up, which is the exact bare minimum, you shouldn't even waste anyone's time.

This same guy has the current goals of "slimming" down, getting to a medium shirt size. The word medium comes from mediocre. When he says he want to wear a medium shirt, he is literally giving the concept of being large and in charge the bird and I hate him for it.

And for the past several months, he's been talking about starting lifting again "next semester."

Don't even fucking bother. If you couldn't stick with it before, waiting until a certain date isn't gonna do jack shit. All it does is set yourself up for the failure that is inevitable.

If you do shit like this, don't waste anyone's time because you can't be bothered to do anything that is not immediately satisfying. When I bought my first weight set, a shitty bench that I somehow used as a squat rack, I didn't think lifting that shit was fun but I did it anyway for reasons I can't remember.

And for the people that act like not feeling good is an excuse:

Steve Pulcinella is tired of your shit and so am I.

Good things are happening.

Some news. Marshall offered to train with me after the whole "he's a Nazi" thing and I decided to take him up on the offer. The whole thing is still on the drawing board, but he might be coming out to the gym I lift in for a strongman meet and there may be some promotion of the gym, and the training together (still unclear how much, if any, there will be) will be documented for the benefit of both parties.

I'm not gonna write all day again about my take on LBEB, (same as Crossfit, they expose people to barbells and shit) but I think this is gonna be badass.

If this happens, I will post about the training and maybe Marshall will post about it on LBEB, I don't know. Still need to iron out the details but I do know I'll write about it.

The entire thing is also meant as a promotion for Hoffman's Barbell, an old fashioned strength factory run by Bryan Hoffman. Who so far has had me tell him what happened between me and Marshall about four times, and thinks is fucking hilarious.

Once again, this thing is just in the very early stages and it might not end up happening because Marshall might not be able to show up, or when he does, he'll just kill me. In the latter case, a brief funeral will be had after he leaves.

And now for actual content.

Just kidding.

Powerbuilding is the best building

I've had it up to here with people acting like you can't be strong and look good. As if there is some sort of rule against doing curls after you bench. I've noticed this attitude all over the place, but nowhere is it more commonplace than in places such as Starting Strength.

Curls? That's now what Uncle Rippy recommends

The SS community is okay, but with the flood of novices there is also a flood of morons who seems to be under the impression that since Rippetoe does not include any vanity lifts you are therefore a curlbro for doing them.

The truth is, Rip doesn't give a shit if you like to do hammer curls. In fact, he stated here that he started lifting to make him look like Conan the Barbarian.

Can you blame him?

Rippetoe has never spoken against vanity lifting because it doesn't matter. Your squat will not be affected by some dumbbell shrugs. You will look pretty badass with a huge pair of traps, so why not do them?

Going out of your way to look good from lifting is the same thing as going out of your way to put up big numbers in the powerlifts.

It really isn't that much harder to do some assistance to make you look jacked so there's no excuse besides the fact that you don't care how you look.

I'm not saying that you should eat only boiled chicken breast and become some sort of bodybuilder, I am saying that having a badass yoke from shrugging 600 is awesome. Having a fucking pair of glorious arms gets the layman's respect, not your mediocre squat. You can have both very easily, so why not get both?

Various people who are both awesome lifters and jacked as shit include:

Jamie Lewis. Shitton squatter. He is also author of the totes awesome blog Chaos & Pain,
Stan Efferding. Squats 905 with just wraps
Ronnie Coleman. Everyone wants to be a bodybuilder, but no one wants to lift no heavyass weight!
Kirk "The Jerk" Karloski He wants to hold it!

These guys lift a metric shitton of weight and still look jacked, but some vanity lifting is just too fucking much for you because Mike Rippletoe didn't put them in the program. Get real, brah.

Even worse is the SS community's insistence on not doing assistance in general. Many moons ago, I recall making a thread on how to not get a "poopy" deadlift. The vast majority of people claimed I should switch to deadlifting every other week. Only one poster was for adding assistance work.

This is a strange, ancient, and undeniably evil cult that is attempting to make you weaker, but that's for another time because I've been awake for about two days now.

I love steroids

Steroids rock. They should be allowed in all competitions, especially the Olympics. Everyone is using steroids, why not legitimize it? If you lose respect for someone just because they use them you're an idiot.

People seem to be under the assumption that steroids can make even the average moron able to bench press a car. I believe this to be wholly untrue. Even with PEDs the athlete still has to train harder than he has in his life to be the best. You must have the genetic potential, the work ethic, the talent and the willingness to do some steroids to be the best.

Just because I inject some more test into me doesn't mean I can suddenly deadlift more than Benedikt Magnusson. Even if I did do steroids and trained in a secret underground bunker for 2 years I would still be nowhere near his record simply because I'm a lazy idiot who can't be bothered to take training as seriously as he does.

The following is a list of people who definitely do/did steroids:

Benedikt Magnusson
Doyle Kenady
Kirk Karwoski
Ed Coan (Also a pothead, apparently)
Lamar Gant
Lance Armstrong
Louie Armstrong
Miles Davis
George Washington
Malcolm X
Richard Nixon
Ronnie Coleman
My uncle
Charles Manson
Marilyn Manson
Mark Rippetoe
Bill Starr
Doug Young
Me
Glenn Pendlay
Robert Downey Jr.
Peter Jackson
Dane Cook (More proof that steroids don't make you automatically good at something)
Sun Tzu
Even the Dalai Lama

I feel that it's obvious steroids have done more good than bad in the world. They help scrawny children get that much closer to a 135 bench press and without them we wouldn't have the strong guys we have to day and I thank god for everyday we get to enjoy steroids.

It's time people realize that steroids are not a big deal and to ban someone from competing because of them is a farce. Anyone in the top circuits of any sports will be using some kind of PED and if they don't get pinched because of it it just means they're too sneaky.

In the IPF and USAPL if you are even training with someone who has failed a drug test you will be banned. This doesn't mean they are dope free, it just means they're a bunch of sneaky bastards.

"But how can we spot these men who use steroids?" Why, I'm glad you asked. It's a pretty simple matter. Does he deadlift around 850? Does he weigh around the neighborhood of 320-360? Does he claim his gains are from eating big? Does he suffer from "Roid rage?" that causes him to make fun of bloggers constantly? I think we all know who I'm referring to here.

I'm looking at you, Kirk.

But seriously, society has to quit with this hatred for PEDs because it's stupid and only the people who are clumsy enough to get caught are criticized for it. Lance Armstrong would still be alive if it weren't for you people.

Here's lookin' at you, kid.

If you want to learn more about steroids, visit your local library, or read this really good 70s Big article. 70s Big.

The Real Deal

It's time you guys met the real me. Believe it or not, the you think I am from reading this is actually me. But you gotta admit I make a couple good points. We gotta make a rundown of both 70s Big and Lift Big Eat Big.

70s Big: An okay site with a decent community, but I think Justin spends a bit too much time not actually talking about getting 70s Big, and more of being jacked and healthy. They tend to take a lot of picture where they look like they're about to have a hot, sweaty orgy, but that's okay because they got some decent enough info and don't give a shit if you disagree.

Lift Big Eat Big: This is a doozy. I don't know where to start. After I edited some pictures to make them less than flattering, so Marshall responded by saying I hurt his feelings on his facebook:

 Then his circlejerking friends responded with a few zingers:

Bitch, choose one; keyboard commando or fuckstick?

This is the shit I'm talking about. That Blake Ashley idiot. If someone disagrees with the guys at LBEB they have to be the guys they hate. It cannot possibly be someone who just plain dislikes their bullshit, it must be the one thing they bitch all day about.

Tony thought his zinger was so good he had to show it off to Marshall

These idiots just fucking idolize the guys at LBEB to the point of being embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for them. When they defend someone at LBEB, they have to parade it around shouting for people to approve of them.

And when they insult someone who hates LBEB, they have to call them curlbros. Because that's what Marshall would do and I love Marshall. Fuck them.

Marshall is a fucking hoss, but I would be much more impressed if he wasn't in league with morons. It's hard to these assholes seriously when douches named "Pastor B" are the guys who are considered "experts"

Pastor B seems to hate curlbros and it shows. Never before have I been more unimpressed by someone.

He somehow manages to make worse progress than a Fittitor.

 In the above picture, note the Crossfit shirt. LBEB is composed almost entirely of Crossfitters who like to squat more. That's it. Same fucked up "family" attitude. Both run by ego-maniacal assholes. And neither of them can squat double body weight. A feat that even I am capable of.

I cannot help but be impressed with Marshall, but he has been bamboozled by this conman running his church. Bamboozled and stupified I say! Pastor B is simply repackaging well known knowledge and adding the ol' LBEB twist.

If you like Lift Big Eat Big, you're probably being screwed in the ass while paying for retarded shirts. All the while you're accusing someone who just doesn't give a shit about LBEB of being a curlbro. Which makes no fucking sense. There are a lot of sites that aren't full of shit, but this ain't one of them. I recommend Starting Strength.

It's run by Mark Rippetoe and he knows his shit. He doesn't have the attitude of a wannabe hardass. That's about all I can say about him.

LBEB sucks. It's obviously got some strong people, but Marshall needs to tell Pastor B to fuck off, get his ass into a powerlifting federation and start putting up some records.

I really hope that this will be the last I have to say about LBEB because I'm bored to tears of their bullshit, and their fanboys who don't even lift.

The rest of this blog will, hopefully, be about me and the stupid shit I do. I will most certainly do more posts similar to this one but this is probably the last I got for LBEB. Unlike the guys at LBEB, I powerlift and will be competing in the UPA Nationals this April. Hopefully I can avoid being doxxed until then. If any super slooths at LBEB want to dox be, I'd just like to say you'd be a moron if you're unable to do it.

Another site that's decent: Outlaw Powerlifting.
And for the O lifters: Pendlay's forums

Edit: Marshall White found my log on Starting Strength and decided to be a cocksucker for his Facebook circlejerk.

I'm going to come out and say it; I don't lift as much as Marshall. Any fucking man can say this shit. But I also don't give out advice. I just be a dick over the internet. Nothing wrong with that.

If there is something wrong, it's the fact that this asshole and his circlejerk keep proving my fucking point. I said it over and over, they cannot believe that someone could possibly not like the site LBEB without declaring a fucking war on the subject. I wrote this shit on the fucking wall but you guys seem to love to prove me right.

I'm squatting tomorrow. Video forthcoming. Notably, this will be more than Pastor B can squat

If you like Lift Big Eat Big you're a moron. Part II

There was shit aplenty to be said of LBEB and I felt this required a second part. Upon looking at the comments, most of them were incomprehensible and stupid, but this one caught my eye.

(Content removed because the guy requested it.)

 By the way, when you're done "helping" Timmy I recommend you delete any personal stuff.

So what does this offer of amnesty to rapists mean for LBEB? Nothing good. Even worse is that so far, this is the best they've had to offer. A rapist who doesn't even lift. Am I really supposed to believe the horseshit they spew when this is the best I've seen?

But the one of the main things I wanted to address is the fact that LBEB keeps trying to make retarded connections and make them badass. Leading example is this: Training Music.

Listen to the music you want to listen to. If it's rap, go crazy, if it's metal, awesome blossom. I don't even care if you listen to classical or perhaps some sort of sobbing into a clarinet. It doesn't matter as long as it gets you focused on the lifting.

The claim that since drums use beats, Spartans listened to drums, and therefore rap, which has the beat take the back seat of the bus, is the best to listen to.

That's like saying since Spartans were the first to formalize pederasty then you should fuck a choir boy in the ass before a heavy squat. Of course LBEB probably recommends this, since they apparently offer amnesty for rapists.

Once again, I recommend music that helps you focus on the lift. For me, that's stoner metal. I recommend Sleep, High on Fire, or Black Sabbath

The point is that LBEB seems to see connections that are frail or retarded at best, and this is stupid. They should get their shit together and get some perspective about their self-worth and realize their knowledge is not new.

New rule, if you're going to comment get your head out of your ass.

If you like Lift Big Eat Big you're a moron.

It seems like everyone with half a brain hates the guys at LBEB. I didn't know why, until I saw their website where they accidentally revealed they are giant assholes.

What kind of moron eats grass?

They seem to be under the impression that the knowledge they have is groundbreaking in some way; as if they reinvented the wheel. They then parade the wheel around and some people are dazzled by this fantastic new device. Specifically the pretty lights. All whilst bewildered onlookers wonder why the fuck a wheel has lights at all.

I took a look at some of their programs and this one really caught my eye: https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B0DL9J4Bi6RlckNOVVczUks3dXc/edit

I couldn't help but wonder who the fuck designed this shit and what they squat. It says it's a beginner program, so why would they have them max out on the first day? And why in the world is it only 4 weeks?? Assuming that by beginner, they mean some random idiot straight off the streets, the kind of guy to describe himself as a "hardgainer"

This kind of guy shouldn't be squatting to a max because he has no frame of reference for what a max should be. It would almost certainly be way too light or way too heavy, quarter squatted with a good morning on the way up just for added spice.

Here's a hard and fast rule, when people first start lifting they are invariably stupid about it. They have no bodily awareness. A subtle unlocking of the knees feels the same as ass to grass squats as long as there's weight on the bar.

Why do they need to make it sound like a holy war?

Every asshole with a domain name seems to have a mentality of "Us vs. them! We must cleanse them from the face of the earth in the name of Allah/Yahweh/skwatz"

And let me tell you, it's bullshit. When I see a curl bro in the gym I just remind myself he hates himself just as much as I hate me, and we already have a common ground. I simply have to offer him a treat such as a protein shake and we're bosom buddies.

But in all seriousness, why the fuck is it so trendy to declare war on concepts, diseases, or even actions like curling in a squat rack. I highly recommend you be an asshole to anyone who curls in squat racks, but once you bring the word "heretic," "holy," and "abomination" into it you have become a fucking moron.

This Jihad they have declared is made even worse by the constant use of the phrase "pure lifts" used here: http://www.liftbigeatbig.com/2013/01/powerlifting-misconceptions.html

Thank Allah/the Lord/whole milk their blood isn't sullied by the blood/fibers of Jews/niggers/squat suits.

What I'm trying to say is that they are basically white supremacists.

They are bad, evil people who are attempting to destroy anything that's good in the world of powerlifting by segregating everything into the "pure" and "impure" categories.  We can only hope they are confined to their compound and are walled in by the cops and then get sent to jail for the rest of their lives.

(I am required to say this is satire. Marshall, removing that picture was the hardest thing I've ever done. Hope you're happy...)

70s Big is a train wreck

I've been following 70s Big for a long time now and was an avid reader, but this shit is getting out of hand and is just too gay for my tastes.

Pictured here, several 70s Big men. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy

When I read the shit that Justin write now it feels like it was written by a 15 year old who stumbled on crossfit, then became stricken by a case of diarrhea of the mouth and is now unable to mask his innate gayness. I'm fucking looking at the 70s Big home page right now

Who exactly is this supposed to appeal to?

70s Big cannot possibly be more off topic. It somehow went from be huge and awesome, to being jacked 'n healthy. No one gives a fuck about their health and you shouldn't run a site called 70s Big if you aren't 70s Big.

That would be like me creating a website called "bigdickguywantsbigdickinasshole.biz" when in reality my dick is tiny. It's disgraceful.

The entire thing seems like a fetish now; they feel the need to mention what clothes they were wearing independent of whether it was at all notable, as if they want to be curteous and help us imagine their lifting better so we can cum all over our mom's computer. Not fucking likely.

Too much fucking fashion advice. Yeah, thanks 70s Big, I now know to shave my pubes when I wear short shorts near children. I'll try to be more considerate.

Maybe if Justin would stop declaring war on concepts and diseases he would have time to get his head out of his ass and start posting things that actually fucking matter and are related to getting 70s Big. Not cock and ball torture videos.

I don't care if you guys enjoy this, but it's from the devil. If you think a friend might be touching himself to the thought of Justin Lascek hitting his dick with a barbell, talk to your pastor.

I hope Justin reads this and I hope he reconsiders intentionally making his site shitty as some sort of sick joke. But for now, we can only hope for more pictures of everyone's favorite internet gigolo.

You are a whore and I am using you as an object.

Justin seems like the kind of guy who would seem like a good guy at first, but then it turns out that he takes pictures of people taking shits in his gym, but it's also a really good gym and he gives you pictures so it's okay but you still feel fucking dirty.

Suicide.

I think about suicide a lot. Personally, I'm a fan. It's the great equalizer. Everyone from the lowliest begger, to the highest of kings will have shit in his pants and a hangman's erection when he kicks the stool. Once you pull the trigger all your brains you were so prideful of are all over the fucking wall now, and the retard you knew in school is just as smart as you.

More people should consider it. I always see people in the grocery store that are morbidly obese. There's no way they're going to lose the weight, trying is just too fucking hard for them; otherwise they'd be 300 pounds lighter.

Your entire life you're holding your finger, plugging the leak in the dam. Only a select few are brave enough to take their finger out. I dream of getting brave. Brave people don't deal with bullshit like taxes or cats. They call no man mister.

People who commit suicide are emancipating themselves from bullshit and I commend them for it. I highly recommend suicide for everyone.

But for the time I'm not brave, I put up shitty numbers in powerlifting, a relatively obscure sport that no one gives a shit about. I'll be bitching on this blog unless I forget I have this blog. If it sucks I'll just give up all together. Maybe I can fucking end it.